I told myself to not obsess for the nine days and I did really well until last night. So I made it a whopping 3 days with out thinking too much about it. Now the weekend is here and along brings a whole lot of worries.
I do not feel anything. Nothing at all, like I have never felt anything. So I pretty much convinced myself that this is over. After years of doing this, you would think I would be so fine tuned into what my body was doing that I would feel something? I know, I know, some people do not feel anything and bam next thing they know they are looking at two lines, but that is not usually - or I should say never - the case for me.
I have flip flopped over an over about buying a HPT. I did a mad search in my bathroom cabinets this morning in hopes I had a left over one, but nope. I want to pee on something. But I drove by two drug stores and did not pull over, because I am afraid to put a definite end to this dream. Is 4 days past a 5 day transfer too soon anyway? Most likely.
I just hate this! I hate not knowing which way my life is heading. I want a vacation, I want to try one more time? I want a baby! I look at my three little ones and I hope and dream that one or more are my sticky ones, then reality hits and I say would I not feel it! Pinch, cramp, do something! Let me know you are in there, let me know my dream is still alive!
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1 comment:
I sooo know how hard these days truly are...nothing I can say can make it any easier, but I will say that I just watched on two blogs ladies who had posts saying they did not feel it, and were pretty sure it did not work and they both got +ives... (In 2 me see & what to expect when your not expecting)
Hopefully their stories can provide some much needed hope!
Hang in there, You are almost there...xoxoxox
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