Sunday, November 29, 2009

November 28, 2009

Dillon is here.

I was not expecting to be typing that for a little over a week. But I was never good with sticking to plans and it looks like my son feels the same way.

***warning this will be graphic, I am sharing the whole birth story****

Friday was like every other Friday after Thanksgiving. My father came by at about noon with my decaf ice coffee and left over turkey that I had forgotten at his house the night before. I heated it up, had some lunch and then went to take a nap.

I had lied down and was flipping and flopping for about 1/2 hour before I nodded off. I slept for about a half hour when I felt a gush of water. I ran to the bathroom thinking I lost all bladder control. No, that is not it. I do not have to pee, but the water kept coming. I looked in the toilet and there was some pink blood. HOLY SHIT. Breath. Okay what do I do. Oh, call the doctor.

I call and it is considered a holiday, no one was on and I got the messaging service. I tried speaking calmly to whoever answered. He asked me what my last name was and I forgot how to spell it, he asked for my hospital ID number, the one I have used for about 4 years now at every monitoring blood draw and appointment through IF and pregnancy... umm BREATH! Okay, I got through that. He tells me he will call the on call doctor and I should hear something in the next 10 minutes.

Next I call my mother and Scott. Yes, right now Scott is not letting me live it down that I called her first. But what is done is done. She is calming, been through it before, is a nurse and all that. Scott, when I called said "are you sure?" So yes, I called my mother to make sure I was sure.

My mother, father and Scott are both on their way to my house. I did not pack a bag, that was on the agenda for the weekend. So I go and try to get things together. All the while I am still leaking fluid and filling pads fast. My mom gets there and tells me to sit down. She attempts to fill the bag but can't find anything. I tell her I will do it, but she yells at me to sit. I listen.

Scott comes in about two minutes later. He then goes to finish packing the bag. He got the leash on the dog and gave the dog to my father so he could watch them. Then my mother, Scott and I head to the hospital.

Scott drops me and my mother out in front while he parks the car. We both tell him not to forget the bag. As we walked in I kept feeling more gushes of water. Honestly, it amazes me how much water was in there! In the elevator it felt as though my pants were soaked. I was looking at my mother rolling my eyes as people were piling on the elevator. How embarrassing, but hell you are never going to see me again!

I go to triage and get undressed, at this point it is 3:30 in the afternoon. They told me not to wear underwear, but did not put anything absorbent on the bed. I am done caring at this point and just get undressed and hop on the bed. Scott comes in and then a couple of minutes later a midwife comes in to check for amniotic fluid. As she said, there is not doubt. So she sends us down to the delivery room. The nurse greats us and tells us it was slow this weekend so we have the "VIP room". It is a pretty large room with great views of the city skyline and Charles River. But, if I was Giselle and Tom Brady, I think I would expect more. But alas, I am not so I am just glad they had more then one reclining seat so my mom and Scott can both get comfy.

I lie on the bed and get an IV and attached to the baby monitors. I still can not feel contractions, but according to the monitor I am definitely having them. The doctor then comes in and explains how they will monitor my blood pressure and if it goes to high they will give me magnesium to lower it. He also tells me that because my water broke, they would like me to deliver in less the 24 hours to prevent the risk of infection to both myself and Dillon. He said he would watch labor for the next couple of hours, but if things didn't progress he would give me a drug to speed up the contractions. He said the drugs will be administered slowly and most likely we would not be seeing much progress until the morning, so he told me to get some rest.

So the next hour was pretty uneventful I asked Scott for the bag... he forgot it in the car. He also forgot the camera! We always forget the camera! We agreed that he could make it to home and back before anything happened. So he leaves.

At about 7pm the doctor decided to start the contraction drugs. I told him I wanted to wait until Scott was back and he should be here any minute. He agreed to wait, but told me to tell the nurse as soon as he walked in. The nurse came in and started to prepare everything. She told me to sit up in a chair for a bit, because once the drug was in, they would want me to stay in bed. I went to the bathroom, rocked in the chair and waited for Scott to come back.

In he walked, the nurse called the doctor, the doctor came and looked over everything and administered the drug. He also took my blood pressure, which was not bad, all things considering, 152/78.

I felt my first contraction about 10 minutes after the drug was in the IV. It was mild, but I felt it. A big change from the past couple of hours. I was feeling it every 10 -15 minutes to begin. Then steadily at 10 minutes, 8 minutes, 5 minutes. Mostly the pain was in my back. It felt as though I was sitting on a knife stabbing me in the back repeatedly. At about 10pm, I looked at my mother and said I really would like the epidural. She told me, that it would be a long night if I had the epidural now. The nurse came in and said I looked really uncomfortable and she would be able to get me something to help me relax in between contractions. I agreed to take that and it did help for about an hour. I was able to nod off in between the contractions but it was not enough. I begged my mother again for the epidural. Again she said she didn't think it was time.

Scott, by the way, was my silent rock. He was there holding my hand, giving me water and making silly jokes because he was nervous. Oh and eating all the Italian Ice.

At about 11pm the doctor came in to check my progress. He did an internal and he said "oh my, you are 90% effaced already" At that point, I said "It isn't too late for the epidural is it" ... No, thank God! So they called the anesthesiologist to get it all started.

Let me tell you! I never ever ever would have been able to make it through without this wonder drug. I am by far a wimp, but why go through torture when you don't have to!
So with the epidural in, we began pushing. But after the first set of pushes the contractions slowed down, so the doctor decided to give it an hour for more steady contractions. I took a nap and prepared.

At about midnight I started my 3 hours of active pushing. I could not feel my right leg and not move it at all, my left leg had some feeling to it so I could at least lift it when it was time to begin the pushes. Scott was frozen at the start of everything. He had no idea what to do. In hind sight, I probably should have signed us up for birthing classes, just for his sake but what was done was done. My mother started coaching me, Scott paced back and forth.

I pushed and I pushed. I napped in between contractions. I got cold flashes and hot flashes, I threw up and I bled. All the time though my blood pressure stayed pretty low. About an hour into it, Scott finally figured out what to do. During a push all of a sudden out of no where he screamed "come on Krissy push you can do it!"... Of course I laughed instead of pushed because it was not expected at that point. He then took over for my mother and did a pretty great job. Rubbing my back and my head, getting me water. He was amazing!

All that pushing and Dillon was not moving. He was also face up. The doctor said he could try to turn him which may help the progression. So in she went to try to turn him. She did fairly quickly and we began pushing again. She mentioned forceps, but I wanted to try on my own. Still nothing after another hour of pushing. At about 2:30, the doctor again suggested forceps. She said she could see the head, and it could be over in no time if we used the forceps. At that point I was spent both emotionally and physically and wanted to meet my son, so I agreed.

They called in the anesthesiologist to boost the epidural so I would not feel the forceps. They then set everything all up with clamps and all the doctors piled in the room waiting for Dillon's arrival. After 2 pushes the doctor said "next one, give me a nice big push and you can meet your son". At that point I busted out in tears and gave it my all. Out he came... and not crying!

I was looking over at the pediatricians and could not see what they were doing. I sent Scott over and he watched then came back and said it was okay, but I still could not hear him cry. My mother was watching and I was trying to read her facial expressions. All the while I was being sutured up. Everything seemed to be taking forever... until I heard it, I heard him cry!

The wrapped him up and I got to hold him for 1 minute and then the whisked him away again. All this and I was still being sutured. "How many stitches are there?" I asked... "Oh we don't count" Turns out I have a third degree laceration and far too many stitches to count, but pain meds are a wonderful thing!

I kept asking about Dillon and everyone assured me he was fine but because it was such a traumatic birth he would need some air just for a while. He was in shock, but at 35 weeks he should be just great.

He was on a respirator for 24 hours and is now breathing room air. He seems to be doing great, but they need to get him to feed a little first before going home. I am being discharged in the morning. He most likely will be here for another couple of days.

I am actually healing pretty well. Sore and swollen and bleeding (although that has let up a lot). But it was all worth it. Every ounce of pain I feel is worth it when I hold Dillon or see Scott holding him.

Dillon, Mom and Dad on his 2 day old birthday, respirator free and a little bruised from being face up.

PS - Thanks Flower for helping me fix the cutoff picture!

Monday, November 23, 2009

I am going to whine for a minute...

I am super achy. It feels like I ran a marathon and all I have done today was get up 62 times to pee, take a shower and my big adventure to the doctors office.

I used to be a very active person who was always moving. To now being stuck in bed. My bones, joints and muscles are really feeling it. I am starting to hate my once cozy bed and soft and comfy couch. HATE THEM!

I am so afraid once I do have the baby that I will be so not used to doing anything that I will become lazy and/or not have as much energy as I used to. Just looking at the stroller at this point and I can not imagine being able to lift it because I haven't lifted anything heavier then a 12oz water bottle in 8 weeks!

I want to take a nice long shower - but I can't because I will start seeing spots, which is my cue to sit down and relax.

I have 2 weeks to go and I think I am starting to get antsy now that I see the end in sight. I am so proud I made it this long out of the hospital when all bets were off of me making it past 34 weeks. I am so thankful Dillon is growing big and strong.

I just want the next two weeks to hurry up and get over with!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

All about the hubby!

Nothing new really on the medical front. I am hanging in there with 3 weeks to go. My urine is acting up again, with traces of blood in it. I am doing another 24 hour urine, but my doctor said the blood could be coming from the cervix and not to be overly concerned unless I experience pain, which I am not! So I keep on keeping on...

I did decide to share with you how incredible and supportive Scott has been through all this. Not only does he put up with my parents daily because they are watching over me during the week when he is working. But he does EVERYTHING I ask without batting an eye. That is a lot considering I can not do anything myself.

We spent this weekend finishing the nursery products. The swing, and all the baby stuff is now put together or put away until we need them. The room is almost complete, he needs to wash the babies sheets and clothes this weekend. Put in the car seat and get it inspected.

I can not tell you how much I love him through all this! I am incredibly thankful for every second of everyday we share together. He is so excited and so nervous for Dillon's arrival. Mr. Laid Back is finally showing some of that nervous "I am about to be a dad" energy.

My mom was talking to him about the labor process and he said "I read that in the book" (the book he claimed he did not read).

I can not wait to share this whole process with him. Scared, but excited. He looks at every u/s picture in amazement. He always says "I think he looks like me" when showing them off to friends. He is a proud papa already! I can not wait for the day he gets to hold Dillon in his arms for the first time. I cry thinking about it now, I am sure I will explode the day it happens for real!

It was a long seven years. A lot of ups and downs along the way. Sometimes we were at a crossroad and questioned if we would ever make it while dealing with the horrors of infertility. The last two years we were more united then ever and it gets better everyday! I am so thankful that we fought to stay together and now are so much stronger for it. I am really not sure how couples who get married and then push out their first babies within the year survive. We have learned so much about each other during these years. That is something positive I can now look back on through the years of dealing with infertility.

Friday, November 13, 2009

9 more doctors appointments before induction day

Well. So much for being free and clear. Just when you think things are going well. My last 6 appointments showed my protein levels back down to normal levels. My b/p was getting lower at doctor visits. Everything smooth as silk.

Then I went to my appointment yesterday and there are traces of blood in my urine again. It could be a sign of my kidneys acting up again, it could be a UTI. So first thing first is to hope for the UTI. I took another sterile pee and am waiting for the results. Most likely it is not that, I do not have any UTI symptoms and like last time, I feel fine. So I will end up having to do another 24 hour urine on Monday... and it continues.

Well, my first goal was 32 weeks, my next goal after that was 34. Tuesday is 34, so I guess if I needed to go back in the hospital I should be proud that I made it this far. I can make 3 weeks in a hospital, so much better the 2-3 months! But I am jumping the gun. Maybe just maybe all will be okay enough for me to remain on home bedrest. Fingers crossed!

In good news, I had a growth scan today. Dillon is getting big, he gained a pound since my last one 3 weeks ago. He is now 4lbs 6oz. The doctor said he meets all the percentages, so that is good. I maybe can guesstimate him being a pound heavier in 3 more weeks. So a 5lb 6oz baby is not so bad for 37 weeks?

The u/s woman killed me today. Did the usual measuring of his head, stomach, femur. Looked at his heart, kidneys spine. Now for practice breaths. Dillon can be stubborn when he knows people are watching. He takes one quick breath and then stops (too cute). So we wait for him to start more. The u/s tech jiggles my belly - nothing. Well lets try giving CPR to the kid while he is inside... Out of no where pound pound pound on my belly. OUCH! She says "sorry". Needless to say it did not help him want to breath! Jiggle, pound (softer then the first time), jiggle. All I can do is hold my breath (that will make him breath right?). Come on little guy breath and help end this torture! Five minutes go by and finally he breaths. Of course I felt like I just went through a boxing match when it was over!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I'm 38 now...

My birthday was this past Sunday. Pretty laid back event all things considered. The night before Scott ordered a to go mail from our favorite local restaurant. We ate and then watched a movie on pay per view.

Sunday my girl friends can over and D made cupcakes, we ordered Pizza and watched Sex and the city.

All in all a good weekend!

So I am 38. Ouch, it hurts!!!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Shower details

My mom and sister(s) hosted my shower. I put the S in parenthesis because I was not supposed to know my younger sister was flying out from California to be here. My mom can not hold a secret, so it did slip about a week before. I needed to act surprised when she got there... I tried but acting is not my thing.

I had about 60 people on my invite list. All but 3 people RSVP's they would be there. Out of that, 5 people just didn't bother to show and one person called my mom to tell her she was getting sick and did not want to risk spreading her germs.

We had my shower at a local private clubs function facility. My theme was jungle and my mom and sisters did a great job in decorating. The centerpieces were yellow and orange daisies they had orange and yellow table clothes all around. Definitly not your run of the mill blue for boy shower - thank goodness.

They had a game set up at the table. It was for people to match the answers to mine. Some of the questions and answers were very generic and based on my situation of knowing I will deliver early and knowing I am infertile I could not answer very easy. For example, it asked when I would have another child: a)1 year b) two years c) Heck no I am done.

Sorry but I could not bring myself to circle an answer. I would LOVE to say in 1-2 years but God forbid people hold me to it and I get the "so are you pregnant yet" comments in another year. In reality it may be I am done without the "heck no" because we will never be able to afford IVF again unless some miracle lottery winnings are in my future. BUT at the same time I am not going on birth control and hoping for a miracle.

So anyway, I stared at this quiz for the longest time and turned to my sister and said ... mmm this is silly do you have anything else? Yes she did, a word search and the guess how big my stomach is game. Everyone played after dinner.

My mom had appetizers of shrimp cocktail, cheese and crackers and veggies and dip for the first hour as people were arriving. My mother in law was over an hour late... stuck in traffic because of construction that Scott warned them about. Oh well. at least she made it.

The main course was an Italian buffet, meatballs, stuffed shells, chicken broccoli and ziti, sausage caccatori (sp) and eggplant parmigiana. She ordered way too much food for about 50 people but got to go containers for everyone to take some food home.

For dessert we had assorted pastries and the cake. Now the cake was awesome. Done last minute because the original cake maker (a cousin of one of my friends) needed to back out from making the cake a week before for a family emergency. So my sister scrambled to find a cake maker that could do something in a jungle theme without it looking like a kids birthday cake. This is the end result:

I thought it was awesome and everyone loved it!! Oh, it tasted good too =)

I got a ton of gifts. It amazes me the generosity of my friends and family. We got about 30 things off the registry, mostly the larger items which helps a ton. And clothes. Tons and tons of clothes - so much that Dillon is all set for the first 6 months of his life, and then some. I think I can do 3 clothing changes a day for a week and not have to do laundry!

One very cool presentation of a gift was a diaper bag. There was 2 strings hanging out. When you opened the bag and grabbed the strings, it was a clothes line filled with outfits:

Everyone had a great time. I was exhausted when it was all through.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Wow I am slacking on the updates

Sorry, I have been busy. Hard to believe a person on bed rest could be busy, but in my mind I am. I am also ordering those around me whom I love dearly around, and that takes up a lot of time =)

So the shower went wonderfully. I got so much clothes, I doubt Dillon will wear them all. At least I will not have to do laundry for him for a couple of weeks at a time =) Most everything is new born size, then some are 3-6 months. Sitting going through everything amazed me.

The shower was great. My friends and family seemed to have a great time. I had a great time, although I could not move around and mingle as much as I would have liked. I was exhausted when it was through though and conked out on the sofa for the rest of the night.

Next day I had my OB appointment. Blood pressure the same, protein lowered to with in normal range - Woohoo. So I asked Dr. J if that meant I could continue on until I am in labor. Nope, the benefits of baking the bean longer is not worth putting me at risk past 37 weeks. So she scheduled me for induction. I go into the hospital December 8th and hopefully will have no problems being induced so I can meet my little one.

I am scared and excited. I am also looking forward to getting off this sofa. Dillon and I may have to take some trips to the mall to get out of the house once this is all through!

That brings me to my busyness. I need to get things done. I went through the clothes and figured out what needed washing right away. I order Scott around telling him where to put everything in the nursery. I gave him a "Daddy to do" list a mile long of everything that needs to be done in the next 4-5 weeks, including cleaning the house (it is starting to look like a bachelor pad), putting the car seat bases in the cars and putting together the swing, and everything else that needs putting together. I want all the boxes out of the nursery and I want it looking like a real room before I go in the hospital. Easy if I were to do it. Not so much for Scott who has been doing EVERYTHING and I am super thankful to have him taking such good care of us!

Next, my crib arrived. Making the crib would have been on the list. But there is a problem. The headboard has a huge scratch on it. Wonderful! So I called the furniture place and they will be sending someone by next week to look at it. They could either re-finish it or order me a new headboard. Frustrating and aggravating, but hopefully they can take care of it before Dillon comes home.

So that is a week in the life of a bed rest soon to be momma!