I feel like the only person in Massachusetts with out IVF coverage

I probably am. What an incredible gift to live in a state with mandated coverage right? Until you are caught in a loop hole and it sucks doubly hard. Self funded insurance from small companies are the only type of insurance not required to have IVF coverage. Scott's company, in a way to find the cheapest available option for health coverage chose this route. I work part time in a company with less then 10 employees, so I am not offered any type of coverage.

So what does that mean. I am out of pocket (OOP) for IVF. In a town where OOP is unheard of. No clinics (okay one out of the 6) offer payment plans or shared risk. No Doctors offer left over meds. Mine infact was floored when I told her I was using my left overs from last cycle "Oh you don't need those. Throw them out and get fresh ones" When I told her it would cost me close to 2500 to replace all the meds she said "Oh Okay, they are fine to use"

So here I am thinking about digging through peoples trash in hopes of finding some Gonal F or Repronex. Maybe passing notes in the waiting area telling them they can donate their left overs to me.

Okay so I do have some coverage. I pay 300 a month for a policy I bought for myself. The policy sucks. I have to pay for blood draws. Half of the IVF and all of the drugs. Mathmatically, I am not really saving money. What it does allow me to do is delay payment until after the procedure. Without it my clinic would demand payment up front.

So that is my story. That is why when most women close to me or sitting in the waiting room for IVF consults are not worried about the financial end I am freaking out. 5 IVFs covered fully by Massachusettes insurance and all I can do is afford three because I fall in a crack.
I could get a job with better insurance, maybe at Starbucks, but the pay would be ten times less. Scott could get a job with better insurance, but who is hiring in his feild? No one. So the economy is not on our side. Nothing seems to be.

I know I am probably preaching to the chior about all this. There are many more people without IF insurance coverage then with, just no one around me. Which makes it seem lonelier some how.

When it rains it pours.... poor I guess is more like it

Hopefully I am getting the bad Mojo out of my system now. For the past month we have been in a downhill spiral and I hope to come out of it around, oh, January 3rd would be nice.

It started with Scott getting a 10% pay decrease from his job. Better then the alternative of him getting laid off. So we counted our blessings, I started ChaCha-ing extra hard to make up for the lost money, we wiped ourselves off and trucked on.

A week later my car blew a head gasket (and yes, I kind of blew one myself). The thing will cost about 2k to fix. But I need a car to get too and from Doctors appointments and work. So that is in the shop and will be for about a week. Less if we are lucky, which obviously we are not, so I am sure I will not be seeing it until the new year.

My dad was kind enough to let me borrow his car for the week. So I picked it up yesterday, hmm his brakes are squishy I thought to myself... Drive some more today, had to coast to a stop. Real squishy! Try dead. Scott looked at them and he has a leak from the back hose, no break fluid at all. So the tow truck will be picking it up tomorrow. I will be taking a cab to work. The end of the free rides.

Such is life. Bad things happen in threes. Hopefully those were the three.

It is here!

Af arrived today and I have never been this happy to see her. I called in my cycle day 1 and they started me on BCP today. Then I should start stims on January 3rd and ER will be about 10 days later, although last time it was 8 days later. I really hope to be able to give Scotty a wonderful birthday gift of a BFP at the end of the month!

I am more nervous going into this one. I think with IVF #1 I was so convinced that is what I needed I had no doubts of it not working. This time around I am riddled with worry. There is HUGE doubt at everything. Will I produce more then 5 eggs, will they be good enough? All I can do right now is hope and pray that one or two will stick. That the Antagonist protocol will give me more eggs, that the assisted hatching will make them stick and that in the end I will come up with a BFP. That another 10k does not go to waste, that I finally will be called mommy.

The wait is almost over

I was just thinking yesterday that I should call my clinic soon to make sure everything was set for my January IVF cycle.

When I woke this morning there was a message on my phone! It was my nurse coordinator! Yippee! She is sending out my calendar today and ordering my drugs!!

I am so excited. I can not wait for my period now. Of course I have another 2 weeks to go or so, but at least this 2ww will lead to something more then disappointment!

Yay - bring it on!!!