Well, it has been a week since they took my eggs out. That leaves me with 11 days until I get my Beta. ELEVEN DAYS! I am at the stage where every cramp means something, the fact that I wake up sore and tired is a sign. Of course it is most likely just the progesterone doing it's thing. Most likely I am over analyzing. Everything.
I am afraid to hope. I am afraid to doubt. If I hope to much, the let down will be huge. If I doubt I will put that into the universe and it will bite me in the butt. My butt does not need any more trauma then the PIO is already giving it, so I just wait with baited breath.
The question of whether I should test the Thursday before Beta is still a question in my mind. I probably will hold out as long as possible and see what Thursday brings. Right now, I am afraid I will see that one line. The one line that has stuck it's tongue out at me for months, even years. I promised myself after my first IUI, when I POAS and AF showed just hours later, that I would never test before a beta again. There was a reason I made that promise to myself. The let down was hard! But wouldn't the let down of a nurse calling me saying "sorry, you just threw 7k (estimated) out the window" hurt a lot more? Anyway you slice it, unless this is positive it is going to suck!
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