So in about a week I should be on my way to ER and ET. I am filled with a million different emotions at this point. One second I am scared that my follies will not grow or I am mixing meds wrong. The next second I am daydreaming of what the nursery will look like or how excited I will be to see the pictures of my little embies before transfer. Then back to worried about how I will feel if this all does not work, how we will afford to do another. How patient Scott will be with all of this and how far he really wants to go.
We had a conversation the other night about how he will not be as devistated as me if this doesn't work. He can picture a child free life style... I on the other hand, am not wanting that at all. Would I be happy with that? I am sure there are aspects of it that I would enjoy. Sleeping late on weekends, coming and going as I please, traveling where and when we want... But 30 years from now will I look back with sorrow?
I want a daughter. To see her grow, to do her hair. To watch her going to her prom, getting married, having a child of her own. I want a son to watch him grow, to play catch. To see his first date or teach him to drive a car.
All that would be missing if this doesn't work and all I would have is a picture of two - four - six -eight embies. No I am not ready for a child free lifestyle at all!!!
So, stims please work. Body please work. Let these babies grow for 9 months nice and strong in my body. I love them already!!!
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