I think I have a habit of holding everything in side until given a reason to explode and with the frozen embryo report came the ignition needed to have a bit of a break down. I needed to cry. I needed to let it all out and now I am better.
I still have a glimmer of hope for this cycle. I don't think any of us get through as many months and years as we have with out the hope that is always there. It is just a guarded hope. Through all of this, I asked for signs that this cycle would be different then the last and it has pretty much been day for day to my last IVF. From the yeast infection I am now suffering from, to the lack of cramps after 5dpt. The only difference from this cycle to last is the fact that no eggs made it to freeze. Last time I had 1. So not exactly the change I had hoped for, but maybe it does mean the best contender was placed inside me and is fighting as we speak. A week will tell.
In the mean time, I will gear up for my 3rd and final IVF, just in case. I decided to go to Bos.ton IVF for my final one. So I will need to get my medical records and I do not want to have to delay my final one because of waiting for my records. So I will request a copy and then set up an appointment to speak with a new doctor. Worse that could happen is a cancelled appointment - or best!
One can only hope!
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2 comments:
I'm so glad today's a better day. You are totally entitled to have a good cry - and to have guarded hope. But its such a testament to your strength that you sitll have hope. Will be keeping figers crossed for you.
Krissy -
I just started following your blog recently and just noticed that you said you were going to go to Boston IVF for your 3rd IVF...Im assuming you live near me cause Im in the boston area - or surrounding Boston should I say and i am wondering where you are going currently? Is it RSC? If its not, take a look at possibly going there...that is where I go and where all my friends have gone and they have the best success rates around.
Hopefully you wont even need to get to IVF #3! Im praying!
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