One second I am optimistic, the next I have no hope at all. I still have 12 days before Beta and it has seems like a lifetime goes by with every minute of every day.
I don't feel anything, as I shouldn't feel anything. But I ask myself why am I not feeling anything. Are my little beans still in there? Are they grabbing on to my lining as I type this? Is my body so messed up that no one wants to stay there for months? How can crack heads stay pregnant? Surely my body who has been taking folic acid and eating leafy greens for years is a much better environment then that? So why can I not get anyone to want to stay?
I look at the pictures of my embryos daily. Like looking at clouds I can see my baby(s) in that image. I keep saying "if you fight for me, I will fight for you". Stay alive little ones - stay alive!
My mom told me the other day of a co worker whose friend just had IVF. As my mother said, she only transfered a 6 cell and 7 cell and is now pregnant with twins. She tells me since I transfered two 8 cells that should be a clear sign it will work. I wish it was that simple and that absolute. But as we all know it is not.
I am also waiting on my freeze report. So at least I can plan the next step if - IF - this didn't work. I would want at least 3 frozen to move onto FET. They mail you the report, so I will not be seeing that until late this week maybe next.
So my life is on hold for the two week wait, as it has been so many times before. Please babies live. Please!
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4 comments:
My only advice is stay really busy. Plan something for everyday after work. That is how I made it though my many 2 week waits. To be honest, my last 2 week wait, I lifted any restriction that I had previously put myself under and lived normally. I even had a couple of beers. It worked the best for me!
Hang in there....easier said then done...but try not to stress yourself out so much. There's nothing that you can do right now that will change the outcome, other then maybe pray.
I am sending as many angels your way as i can to ease your mind. Take a walk, take a bath..find a great book.
((hugs))
Krissy, I am pulling for you. I have my fingers and toes crossed and I can't wait to hear your wonderful results on the 31st! I have a happy dance in waiting just for you! C'mon babies stick!! : )))
Crossing everything for you!! Waiting sucks so much!
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