Scary night last night.

I was getting ready to head to work and went to go pee before I left. When I went into the bathroom I looked down and there was red on my underwear. I then wiped and all I saw was a ton of blood. I freaked out and had no idea what to do. I called Scott who was on the road and I freaked him out, he asked what he should do and all I could do was cry.

I then hung up the phone and called my mother. She told me to call the doctor, put my feet up and try to calm down. Duh - call the doctor - why didn't I think of that! So that is what I did. It was 6pm so there was no one in the office so I was transferred to Labor and Delivery. They took the information and said they would have a doctor call me back.

In the meantime, I had to figure out what to tell work. I needed to call in 15 minutes before my shift and no one there knows I am pregnant yet. Fuck it they do now, not exactly how I envisioned spilling the beans, but what other good excuse could a panicked woman come up with on short notice?

The doctor called me back told me to come into Labor and Delivery and they would give me a u/s and check my cervix. She told me not to rush in, because if something were wrong there was nothing they could do at this point. I lost it again. Got off the phone and told Scott to hurry home. He was already on his way but with traffic, he was about an hour away.

I tried to calm myself, lied on the sofa with my feet up and waited for him to come home. In the mean time, my panicked mother was calling and trying to call me down. Quite funny, now that I think back to it - she was not doing a good job at all. She told me that if something happened, which nothing would, she would buy me a trip to France (Scott and I said we would just take a month long trip to France if we could not get pregnant, solace for us at the time)! Well when you ARE pregnant and bleeding pretty heavy, the last thing you really want is a trip to France, so I hung up the phone and cried some more.

Scott finally arrived home at about 7pm and we headed into the L&D. When we got there they lead me to a private room, had me undress and lie on the bed. After lying down for 15 minutes the doctor and his student counter part came in. He did a vaginal exam and the bleeding had stopped, cervix was closed and everything from that angle looked good. He then went off to find the portable u/s unit.

They came back with it after another 15-20 minutes passed and attempted the u/s. He could not see much and asked if I ever was told I had polyps? Umm no... he said it might be the machine. He could not find the baby. He said before starting this was a possibility since there little unit was not very strong. I asked about an internal u/s and he said he would get a wand and come back...

About an hour passed. Did they forget about me? Are they in an emergency delivery? Umm - hello where are you? Finally the male doctor comes back with a female doctor. Turns out she is the doctor in charge of L&D tonight. She explains how they can not find a wand and that is why they took so long to get back to me. Turns out they normally don't carry one there so checked someplace else and the one that they had was used that day and sent out for cleaning... umm K.

She said she would try with the external wand, that sometimes after some time has passed things move around and make it easier to see. She immediately locates the baby and the heart beat and I can breathe again!

They want me to come back today and get a real u/s with a real machine to get a better view of my ute and see if they see a source of bleeding at all. But they said so far I should remain optimistic and the baby is doing well.

After getting my blood drawn to check Hcg levels, we left. Such a long day. I ended up falling asleep on the sofa 5 minutes after we got home. I am so happy my little one is doing okay. Hopefully I will stop having these bleeding scares.