I was supposed to attend a baby shower for a distant cousin last week. I sent my regrets along with a gift. Baby showers are not my thing. Baby showers of people I hardly know are definitely not my thing.
My mother and sister attended the shower and was asked by my aunt why I was not there. My mom thought I wouldn't mind her sharing what is going on with me and my failed IVFs and the fact that we are running out of money to continue treatment. Of course I DO mind. I told her I would pick and choose the people I wanted to know when we started this. I also hate being pittied and can picture the woe is me conversation they had about me. But what is done is done.
So yesterday I was at work. My uncle is retired from the same place I work at now. Occasionally he will come in the mornings to have coffee with the guys and kill some time in his day. As I went in, he put on his jacket said hello to me and then handed me a small peice of paper and said "Good luck". He then left the building.
I open the peice of paper and inside it was a check for One thousand dollars. Umm. WOW! Completely caught me off guard, because at the time I did not even know about the above baby shower conversation. Second, I am pretty independent and would never ask someone for help. I just had no idea what to do and why he did this.
So I call my mom. She said my aunt asked if there was anything she could do to help me out when they had the forbidden conversation. My mom joked "Do you have 20k" and then said, just keep her in your thoughts. Next thing you know I have the largest gift anyone has ever handed me in the palm of my hand and am confused as to whether to keep it or not. My mom said, I would not have gotten it if my aunt could not afford it and I should just call her thank her for her generosity and use it for the accumulating bills. I called Scott, told him. He said the money would help a ton and since I never asked for it, it was given to me with love and we should just call and thank them and use it.
Here is the thing though. Guilt. What if this next IVF does not work (which I wish it will)? It is like they are gambling $1000 on red and I have one spin to get it right. Now will I feel quilty about me possibly not having success with their money. It is bad enough not getting it to work with our own money, now I have someone backing me!
So the check sits and waits for a decision. As well as the thank you call... they went to Aruba for the week leaving yesterday. So I guess I have a week to make up my mind. What would you do?
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5 comments:
What an awesome gift! They obviously really want to help and wouldn't have given it if they couldn't afford it or didn't want to. It's not like you asked for it, so you have no reason to feel guilty. I say keep it and thank them from the bottom of your heart. Maybe one day you can pay them back. Good luck!
I agree with Andrea...if they could not have afforded it they would not have given it to you..take it as a sign and be thankful that you have such a loving, wonderful family that cares..and truthfully dont feel if you spin and it hits the wrong color that they will be mad...they just want to help in any way they can..like your DH said..you didnt ask for it, it was a lovely gesture..take it as that and yes, maybe there will be a day when you can pay them back, alhtough I am sure that is not what they had in mind when they gave it to you!
Best of Luck!!!
I agree with your H, if they could not afford it, they would not have given it. And i am sure that your mom dished on how hard its been, so i have a feeling that they realize this could be another loss for you. All your aunt and uncle want is to help and support you..and this is how they are choosing to do it. I think a huge thank you card/call would work. Prayers go along way...maybe this is just and answer finally to some of them...
Krissy these people care about you! They aren't putting any pressure on you. You are putting it on yourself. If they really were hard up for cash, I'm sure they wouldn't offer. Call them and thank them. They want you and your DH to have another shot at having a baby and you deserve it. They realize that it may not work but they want to help you anyway. Good luck and use that check. It might be what gets you that miracle baby!
Wow! You have amazing relatives:) I would be thinking the same thing as you, but really, its a gift, and you can use it. Keep it, send a really nice thank you.
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