1 in 6 and I am the 1

I recently got back together with a bunch of girls I used to hang around with in High School. College and careers along the way separated us. But it was always us six girls together "back in the day". So it is nice to hang out together now, twenty years later. TWENTY YEARS!

I will refer to all girls by the nicknames we went by in High School.

Murph - a mother of two girls. Married to her first love. Happy - not necessarily but out to prove everyone wrong none the less. We had always told her that S. was no good for her and he still isn't. But she has her family, and that is what she always wanted.

Doe - Two kids, a boy and a girl. Divorced and engaged to her new man. This one shocked me, because I never imagined her ever finally getting married. She had been engaged to about 4 different men in the 4 years we stayed in touch after school, but ultimately always broke it off before the big wedding date. So when I saw her and she showed me pictures of her 7 and 9 year old I was floored!

Lor - She had J right after high school and it really was the best thing for her. She then went to nursing school, got her life together and has been a wonderful mother. J is now 19. It is so weird to think my friends could have a 19 year old. Considering I am still trying for a little one.

Dee - Commitment was never her thing. She was the party girl and still is. Now partying is a little more difficult with her 8 year old son. An oops. Dee never wanted kids, but made the most of it when it happened.

M. - If one would describe her the first description would be "that anorexic girl" She would eat nothing but plain chicken breasts and plain leafy greens for as long as I have known her. If she weighed in at 101 I would be amazed. But she is healthy enough to have two children a year apart (2-3 years old), so what do I know?

And that leaves me with the 6th spot on the roster. Or the one spot. The black sheep? Sing it now "One of these things are not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong..." If you asked any of us 23 years ago who would most likely be a mother it would be a toss up between me and Murph. But now I am on the sidelines as they compare war stories.

It is hard for me to get together with them now. We were supposed to go out last week and I could not imagine sitting there as they passed around their summer vacation pictures or talked about what school was like for little Johnny. I just could not do it. So I cancelled and have no desire to pick up the phone and reschedule. None.

I could count my blessings. Out of all of us, I must admit to being the one with the most solid relationship. Out of all of us I am the one who owns my own home. But instead I focus in on the one thing I want that they all have. The one thing that would make my life picture perfect...