I guess a nasty side effect to infertility, that may never wear off is the bitterness that comes along with it. I thought I would grow past this once I got the BFP but now that I am pregnant I still feel the pangs.
I feel those pangs when I listen to girls who get pregnant "naturally" talk about their second and possible third children and how they plan on spacing it apart just right. Angry at mothers who are carrying their second and do have that perfect space apart. Angry that I will never have that. Angry that I am even thinking past this one on to another one, because I know there may never be another. Forget about the "oopsies"!
I remember reading about m/c on the 1st tri board and how hopeful those women who were suffering were about return "shortly". There would be no hope for me if something horrible like that happened. Of course no one should suffer that pain, but what a different pain to feel knowing you may have a shot at returning "shortly"
I hate feeling like this and wonder if it will ever go away. Will I ever return to the old Krissy? I want her back!
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2 comments:
I agree...I have such a difficult time on the 1st trimester board for those reasons. All the 'OMG I just tested and it's positive, we weren't even trying!' It stings every time.
I don't think the bitterness of IF will ever go away. Maybe when we have live babies in our arms?
I feel the same way. The IF pain never really goes away, even after you get pg.
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