First, his appointment. His doctors office is only 5 minutes from my house, so I packed him and all his stuff up and hit the road. We got there early, I was hoping that if I was early they would take us early. That backfired and all it meant was that I got to spend extra time in the waiting room (a shared waiting room with other doctors in the building) with some woman who was 2 eggs short of a dozen. She was going on and on about how she is not allowed to get to close to people, how all she wants is to give love, that her doctor doesn't like it when she gives love, so she won't.
Of course, that made me pull Dillon close to me and pray a little that she does not notice him. Well, she did. She came up slowly and asked to see him. I told her he was sleeping but she could peak in, but not to touch to wake him. My heart was pounding. Luckily, she did just peak and then went on her way. Phew. Scary.
Then the doctor called us in. Every time they call Dillon it is surreal, "oh yeah, that is us". Off we go to get weighed, the major reason for the appointment. 8 pounds, 1 ounce. 19.5 inches long. My big boy, close to double his weight since birth! Heart check, a quick look over. We set up our 2 month appointment for shots and the doctor tells me to give him a half a dose of Tylenol before the appointment to help with the shots. Done.
Time check. 1 hour to go to get to my appointment which is 15 minutes away. Just enough time to get a quick bite to eat and feed him before my appointment. So we head in. We get to the little cafe in the building my doctor is located and I get a sandwich and some hot water to warm Dillon's bottle. I eat and wait for Dillon to wake - nothing. He is enjoying the stroll and car ride. I look at my watch and we have a 1/2 hour so I decide to let him sleep and I will head up and check in. Then I will feed him as we wait.
In the waiting room he gets a little cranky, I take him out and begin to feed him. Next thing you know they call me. Great. They are never early! So I stick him in his seat and as he is screaming for more food. The nurse weighs me, takes my blood pressure, all while Dillon is screaming. I'm sweating at this point. "Please baby boy just wait a few minutes". Surprisingly my blood pressure is low!
The nurse tells me to take my pants off and hands me a gown, then leaves. I strip down really quick then grab Dillon and his bottle. Hoping the doctor will be her usual slow self. Thankfully she was and I got to get about 4 ounces in him and a sizable burp. As she comes in a stick him back in the stroller. He was calm again!
The doctor checks my tear, healed perfect. Then we discuss birth control. I told her we were playing everything by ear and what ever will be will be. She also asks me if I will do IVF for a second. I told her at this point it was unlikely. Finances are not on our side to afford 2 kids and pay off more IVF payments.
She ended the appointment with saying that she knew she will see me again. I wish I was that confident. I am not going to bank on miracles. Scott and I will enjoy what we have and enjoy ourselves - What ever will be, will be. I am fortunate enough for one healthy little guy. Not our ideal family, but I can not let infertility control my life anymore, it took too much of it to begin with. All I can do is be thankful to come out ahead. For that I am thankful and fortunate. With that we left the OB office for maybe the last time. (Notice how after that whole speech I still have to put a maybe in there?)
So now pictures, a then and now 1 month comparison:
He is getting chubby cheeks!
1 comment:
Praying always!
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