Fertile versus Infertile

To me the two words are not insulting. Infertility is a medical diagnoses. Fertile is the lack of the medical diagnosis and the ability to get pregnant relatively easily.

I was a bit shocked that people got a bit up in arms over the use of the two words.

I am not sure if they were just trying to pick my words apart to have something to argue about, or the issue is real. The message board I posted it on is infamous for picking words apart.

So what is your take?

IMO, it is like when Aunt Mildred used to talk about cancer and whisper it. Or erectile dysfunction and Viagra used to get giggles until we were blasted with commercials making it an everyday topic of conversation (I will not tell you about the bar conversation with a customer and how he is having the best sex of his life since going to the doctor).

So why not use the words? Is it THAT horrible to say infertile?

So much for that!

Well, you all know how I debated about doing a small, just immediate family member dinner after the christening. Then Scott and I got to talking and with all the bad things going on in his family the past year (both his aunt and his dad passing away) he and I thought having a fun family gathering was in order for a change.

Well - turns out that none of his family except is brothers and mom seem to want to come! I haven't heard from one of his uncles yet, but I am assuming he would be a no too.

I guess I shouldn't over think it. May is a busy time. But in comparison, my aunt changed vacation plans to be able to come. That is just how my family is. Plus none of his side has found time to even meet Dillon yet. Another one of my aunts was banging on the NICU door hoping to get in (the NICU had restrictions to just parents inside). Then she called daily until we could arrange for her to come by the house when he was home.

I guess families are just different and I should accept that. I just feel badly that the place will be filled with my relatively huge family and Scott will only have a half a table filled with his side. He is fine with it, so I should be too -I just hoped for him to show of his boy like the proud daddy he is. Eventually I am sure his family will want to meet him. I guess not in May though. Maybe before he turns 1?

So RSVPs have been trickling in. All in all not a bad turn out. I am the one with the huge family, so even with all the no's from his side I still have 39 yeses (that does not include children - so about 50 total). I still have 2 weeks until the RSVP cut off date.

His christening outfit arrived. It is perfect!! He is still a little short for the pants and I am hoping he will grow another inch in the next month so I don't have to roll the pants. Mr Shorty!

As a side note, I am aware of the Asian man who spams the comments of my blog with links to a porn site. I am sorry for anyone who stumbled upon it like I did. I am contacting blogger and trying to get him removed. I would rather not have to privatize my blog because of this asshat. Until I figure out something - please do not click on his link and I will remove his comments as soon as I see them.

4 month appointment

Dillon had his four month appointment. He is looking wonderful! Height - 24 inches, weight 14.2 pounds and for the life of me I can not remember his head circumference. He was all smiles and giggles for the doctor. Until the nurse came with his shots. His face turned beat red and he let out a huge scream. He settled down pretty easily after a hug and a few kisses and then went to sleep for 4 hours!!!

He has been eating solids for a couple of weeks. He really is not a fan of cereal. He eats some, but has the "ick face" the entire time. Sweet potatoes are so-so, squash is alright, bananas are the grossest thing in the world to him. He spits those out and cries! But PEAS - peas are the greatest thing ever. He eats them with a huge smile on his face. Strange kid. LOL

He is sitting up almost unsupported lately. He can hang on for quite a while with just my hand on his side so he doesn't topple over. He still has made no moves towards turning over. But he scoots on his back to where he wants to be when he is on the floor. One day I was cleaning so left him on his playmat for a bit. When I came back he was 1/2 a room away from the playmat near another toy. Since then he has done it often.

My car is dead. Waiting for the cadillac ? converter to be fixed. I am not a happy camper with this one, since I have only owned the car for 6 months. People shouldn't have 1300 in repairs on a car they are still paying off. Of course, conveniently the car dealer we got it from couldn't find anything major wrong with it until AFTER the used car warranty was up. I had taken it back a couple of times the first couple of months we owned it. The engine light went on and "oh it was just a code"... Next month, same thing but that time they found a loose wire or something... and finally major problem now. I posted a complaint on their website. I am looking for car ads online they have so I can leave my experience for everyone to see... but other then that I have no recourse. Except to be pissed.

It has been a year

I meant to post something on the day Dillon was conceived marking the anniversary of the end of my long journey. I got caught up in working overtime and dealing with a teething and grumpy 4 month old instead.

I wanted to post the pictures of the three embryos I had transfered back into me. Turns out they are gone. The day of my transfer last year, I took the picture and tucked it away. The picture of the embryos were always so hard to look at after a failed cycle. I figured I would save myself from that pain if I just hid them. Apparently, I hid them pretty well. They are no where to be found now. We cleared out the office when we were putting the nursery together. Threw out a lot of things collecting dust. One might have been the book I tucked the photos into.

So the first picture of Dillon is missing. But I have Dillon and all 100 u/s pictures starting at week 7 and ending two days before his birth. I guess that is more then "normal" parents have. So I will take it.

I can not believe the ending of my long and winding road brought me here. It is challenging at times. I am tired beyond belief and there is no relief as it always catches back up to you. But I am over the moon happy. Happier then I imagined I could be. When he smiles at me. When he laughs. When he grips onto my shirt and won't let go. That is worth the million tears I shed.

One year off the road of heartbreak. One year. Yet so many people I traveled with are still on the road. I am not sure if any of you still read this blog. I know I wouldn't be had I still been on the road you are on. If you do, know you are still in my heart. Know I think of you daily. Follow you, sometimes silently on the Infertility boards. I wish your year next year will be filled with tons of u/s pictures, smiles, baby laughs and grips of your shirt. Don't ever give up!

Done...well almost

So my first big party as a mommy is almost set up. And I went overboard. I admit it. What started off as simple snowballed and then kept gaining speed as it went down the hill.

From a casual meal with 15 of our closest family to now 120 invited guests, a buffet meal and now a DJ. So much for saving money having a party.

The purpose of the DJ. I just did not know how else to keep 100 people entertained for 3-4 hours. And shouldn't they have more to do then gush over a baby when they come? Or shouldn't I have a buffer so I didn't have to go around and be the hostess with the mostest the entire time.

So as the weeks went on I was going back and forth. Then 2 nights ago, I saw an old friend of mine who used to DJ for fun. I asked him how much he could do an afternoon party for. The price, not bad, but not great for what he would do - basically play an iPod and use big speakers. So I told him I would think about it. Then last night, when I worked I asked the DJ at the bar how much she would charge. She told me her price - ouch! So I said no, I had someone who offered me a lower price, but I rather he not do the party... Then she did what I was not expecting her to do... she met me at the price the iPod guy gave me. Score!

She is really entertaining. She will teach line dances. Her husband does singing. And basically get the crowd moving, which at 1pm in the afternoon - they may need help with.

Of course, now that she is booked - I am second guessing the DJ altogether. Did I go overboard? What is your opinion? If I am nuts, I put a poll in so you can vote. My thought is he is my one and only child. Seven years of praying for him. I might as well enjoy this.

To break it down cost wise:

To go out to dinner with just the Godparents and immediate family, 15 of us total, we estimated it to cost about $500-$600.

The cost of the party - 120 people invited, estimating about 80 people show. Buffet, DJ, hall rental = $500.

So we didn't save money. But we get more bang for the buck. Plus family who have yet to meet Dillon can now come down and meet him. Friends can celebrate with me. Have a good time. Eat, drink and be merry.

Ha... now my fear is that everyone will have plans that weekend and I will be stuck with a hall, food and a DJ and only 30 people who could make it. LOL wouldn't that be funny!

MISSING: Sucky the Ducky - reward if found

Sunday was hectic. I just got through working two busy and hectic nights at work. I was functioning on 10 hours of sleep in two day and of course we had to do the Easter rounds and then I had to go to work again that night.

First stop. Grammy and Grandpa's and then Brunch with my sister and her sons. Get Dillon all decked out in his Easter gear. Show him what the bunny brought him the night before - a bunny-bear. He was not impressed. Then I pack his bag. Change of clothes, diapers, bottles. Sucky the ducky - a Wubanub : a soothie with a stuffed duck. He can not nap without him - it is like an instant off switch b.

We do our thing. Brunch was great. Dillon is fasinated by his cousin Connor and just watches his youthful energy and smiles. We go back to my mom's house and gifts are exchanged for the kids. Grammy got him a Mickey Mouse lovey that Dillon loves and his aunt got him a pair of bunny slippers. Cute.

Then dad gets him ready to go to Grandma's house for dinner. I head off to work. Scott tells me Dillon did great at grandma's, was up the entire time and then when he put him in hte carseat to go home he conked out for the entire night!

Next morning we awake, do our morning thing. Then comes nap time. Umm sucky ducky, where are you. Not in the diaper bag. Not in his crib or swing or sofa or coffee table. No where. Missing. Gone. Oh no. Dillon is NOT liking this. I am not either. So I have to resort to swaying and rocking and everything I can do to get him to sleep. Eventually he doses off an hour later. Not good.

I look one more time all over the house, nothing turns up. I call my Scott and ask him if he knows where it is. Nope. Both grandma's - nope. Crap! I can order another and get it here in 3 days... THREE DAYS. I could get a regular soothie - but he does not like just sucking on the pacifier - he likes the ducks wings and feet too! Crud.

When Scott gets home from work I have him check the house. Maybe he has better eye sight then me. Nothing - still.

9pm comes - the phone rings. It is grandma S - we found him! Eureka!!!! I drive to her house and bring the little suck guy home. All is right with the world again.