Wow

Well Dillon is one year and I have slacked completely with this blog. Mostly because I know the majority of followers were because of infertility and the last thing they need is to read about a baby and how he coos, smiles and keeps me up all night.

On the coo front, for those who are curious... Dillon is amazing and learns so much each day. He has 4-5 words. Can almost walk, but is afraid to let go. And gets into almost everything with a little mischievous grin. I never knew this love and my heart beams each day.

For the reason I am posting. Now. I was reading a fellow blog, someone who got pregnant the same time as me. Someone who like me, was 1 and done. Someone like me who had given up the possibility of becoming pregnant without the aid of fertility treatment. And someone unlike me who just discovered she was miraculously pregnant with a surprise BFP.

It hurt.

It brought up many more emotions then I thought I had inside. I thought I was over this all. I thought I could live very happily spoiling my little man. Giving him all the love I could give 3 children. I cried as I read her blog.

I am thrilled for her. She is the miracle that we all want to be. In the same vane, I think why not me. Then I kick myself saying HELLO you are tired as is, imagine 2 kids. Then I look at all the girl clothes...

Maybe I am not ready to be one and done. But I need to be ready to be one and done. I was thinking about asking my OB for a seasonal pill because I hate getting periods, and let's face it why go through with monthly PMS when there is no need to. But now I am not convinced I should do that.

I was so sure, and now I am no longer sure. I want a miracle too. Why not me?

Dillon is 8 month old

It has been quite a while since I have updated this blog. New motherhood has changed my habits and I barely get on line these days. I am doing some things for extra money, so we can afford a vacation to California next summer and that take up a lot of my free time.

Dillon has been going to swimming classes at the YMCA. I can't say he is learning how to swim, but he is learning how to enjoy the water and be comfortable with it. It is like a mommy and me class, but in water. He does love it and most classes he gets upset when they are over.
He got his bottom teeth in and now are working on the top. We still have not moved on to anything but purees, partly because I am uncomfortable and partly because he doesn't seem ready. He gags with anything I have ever placed in his mouth. Anything I give him he just plays with and then throws on the ground for the dog. So I will try again when he is 9 months old. I am in no rush and he doesn't seem to be either.
He got his foot check out and he has flat feet, but the one that was slightly crooked seemed to have straightened out. There is some question about his hip and we need a repeat X-ray in September, but the doctor seems to think it will correct itself like his foot did.
He isn't doing much crawling. He will try to when on the sofa, but when he is on the ground he hates being on his stomach. He does everything in his power do not stay on his stomach for long. He does scoot on his butt in a sitting position. Usually around in circles or a couple of inches to the front. My guess is he will skip crawling and go right to walking. Who knows he may surprise me.

It all is going by so fast, he is almost 4 times his birth weight and is so big and cute and has such a personality. I can almost picture him a year from now. He maybe a little terror lol.
Here are a couple of pictures I will leave you off with. I hope to find the time to up date again soon. Take care!

We all had a fabulous time!

The christening went off with out any major hitches. His Godfather was late, but that is because his mother insisted he go by her house before. He is not sure why and neither are we, since she was going with her other son and her house is about 20 minutes out of the way. So he gunned it to the church leaving them somewhere behind. They showed up about 10 minutes into the ceremony.

Next, mother in law asks the priest loudly "I know it is a pain in the ass, but can you sign his baptism book"... in church, with 3 other babies and their families being christened. I guess she will be having to go to confession for swearing. Then she of course needed to be with her grandson the WHOLE time. So when we got back to the hall and I was greeting guests, she was hovering over me and him in the car seat. Back off lady!! Let me get him out. I politely told her I was bringing him around to everyone but promised she could have him back. Then the daggers started as everyone wanted Dillon time and she was pouting in the corner that she could not hold "her baby". Ugg!!! She sees him once a week. It is not like she has not seen him in months. Let me take him around to friends who are there to meet him and see him, some people for the first time.

The party went really smoothly. Everyone loved the food. The kids had a great time dancing and some parents too! I am glad I did have the big party as everyone was so excited to spend time with Dillon and he loved the attention, dancing and being bounced around from person to person. I think he will be a mayor one day! He was all smiles. I am hoping someone will send me a pic of with him smiling because every time I get the camera out he gets the "what's that" look on his face.

But it was exhausting too! We all crashed when we got home. Dad on the sofa. Dillon in his crib and mom had the for site to go to bed. I slept from 7pm until 6:30 when Dillon woke me up (he slept just as long). He is now down for his second nap today, I think he is still wiped. I am recovering, slowly!

Sunday is his big day!

RSVPs are in, well most of them. 80 people yes, 5 who I have not yet heard from and 30 no's. Most of the no's are Scott's family as I told you about in an earlier post. Oh well.

So menus is set. I just have to run around later in the week to order the cake, finish making the favors (small little jars of blue and white M&Ms) and making some cheese and cracker trays and other little appetizers. I have to decorate the hall the night before, after I get out of work. I am looking forward to seeing all my family and friends enjoying Dillon. He loves hustle and bustle - so he should enjoy everyone around as well.

His outfit is perfect! I think he grew an inch since he last tried it on, so it should fit great. The church is set and the Godparents are all ready with their confirmation certificates. I am excited for my little guy and his first big event.

Of course I will post pictures next week sometime!

As for my little guy. He is eating up his solids. He loves most of them except pears and applesauce. He is about to turn over. He goes side to side when he is on his back - but has no desire to go the whole way yet. He tries to turn off his stomach, he just doesn't have all the strength he needs yet to get all the way over. He is a happy guy. Smiles and laughs a lot - except when the camera is in his face, then he gets the look of "What's that" when ever we try to take his picture. One day I will catch him off guard!

Mother's day was incredible. Scott got me a beautiful charm bracelet with the first charm being a heart with Dillon's birthstone in it. It came in a little jewelry box with "World's best mom" engraved in it. We went out for brunch and it was the first time I didn't feel uncomfortable with all the kids around with their parents. It was finally my turn.

A friend from work also gave me a flower and wished me a happy first mothers day. So sweet of him.

And that is all for now. Sorry my updates are few and far between.

Fertile versus Infertile

To me the two words are not insulting. Infertility is a medical diagnoses. Fertile is the lack of the medical diagnosis and the ability to get pregnant relatively easily.

I was a bit shocked that people got a bit up in arms over the use of the two words.

I am not sure if they were just trying to pick my words apart to have something to argue about, or the issue is real. The message board I posted it on is infamous for picking words apart.

So what is your take?

IMO, it is like when Aunt Mildred used to talk about cancer and whisper it. Or erectile dysfunction and Viagra used to get giggles until we were blasted with commercials making it an everyday topic of conversation (I will not tell you about the bar conversation with a customer and how he is having the best sex of his life since going to the doctor).

So why not use the words? Is it THAT horrible to say infertile?

So much for that!

Well, you all know how I debated about doing a small, just immediate family member dinner after the christening. Then Scott and I got to talking and with all the bad things going on in his family the past year (both his aunt and his dad passing away) he and I thought having a fun family gathering was in order for a change.

Well - turns out that none of his family except is brothers and mom seem to want to come! I haven't heard from one of his uncles yet, but I am assuming he would be a no too.

I guess I shouldn't over think it. May is a busy time. But in comparison, my aunt changed vacation plans to be able to come. That is just how my family is. Plus none of his side has found time to even meet Dillon yet. Another one of my aunts was banging on the NICU door hoping to get in (the NICU had restrictions to just parents inside). Then she called daily until we could arrange for her to come by the house when he was home.

I guess families are just different and I should accept that. I just feel badly that the place will be filled with my relatively huge family and Scott will only have a half a table filled with his side. He is fine with it, so I should be too -I just hoped for him to show of his boy like the proud daddy he is. Eventually I am sure his family will want to meet him. I guess not in May though. Maybe before he turns 1?

So RSVPs have been trickling in. All in all not a bad turn out. I am the one with the huge family, so even with all the no's from his side I still have 39 yeses (that does not include children - so about 50 total). I still have 2 weeks until the RSVP cut off date.

His christening outfit arrived. It is perfect!! He is still a little short for the pants and I am hoping he will grow another inch in the next month so I don't have to roll the pants. Mr Shorty!

As a side note, I am aware of the Asian man who spams the comments of my blog with links to a porn site. I am sorry for anyone who stumbled upon it like I did. I am contacting blogger and trying to get him removed. I would rather not have to privatize my blog because of this asshat. Until I figure out something - please do not click on his link and I will remove his comments as soon as I see them.

4 month appointment

Dillon had his four month appointment. He is looking wonderful! Height - 24 inches, weight 14.2 pounds and for the life of me I can not remember his head circumference. He was all smiles and giggles for the doctor. Until the nurse came with his shots. His face turned beat red and he let out a huge scream. He settled down pretty easily after a hug and a few kisses and then went to sleep for 4 hours!!!

He has been eating solids for a couple of weeks. He really is not a fan of cereal. He eats some, but has the "ick face" the entire time. Sweet potatoes are so-so, squash is alright, bananas are the grossest thing in the world to him. He spits those out and cries! But PEAS - peas are the greatest thing ever. He eats them with a huge smile on his face. Strange kid. LOL

He is sitting up almost unsupported lately. He can hang on for quite a while with just my hand on his side so he doesn't topple over. He still has made no moves towards turning over. But he scoots on his back to where he wants to be when he is on the floor. One day I was cleaning so left him on his playmat for a bit. When I came back he was 1/2 a room away from the playmat near another toy. Since then he has done it often.

My car is dead. Waiting for the cadillac ? converter to be fixed. I am not a happy camper with this one, since I have only owned the car for 6 months. People shouldn't have 1300 in repairs on a car they are still paying off. Of course, conveniently the car dealer we got it from couldn't find anything major wrong with it until AFTER the used car warranty was up. I had taken it back a couple of times the first couple of months we owned it. The engine light went on and "oh it was just a code"... Next month, same thing but that time they found a loose wire or something... and finally major problem now. I posted a complaint on their website. I am looking for car ads online they have so I can leave my experience for everyone to see... but other then that I have no recourse. Except to be pissed.